Let it go.

I'm gonna be straight forward with this blog. No, it may not be nicely written, but at least I gave it the effort. If you're in love with your ex and you see that they're in a healthy relationship, let it go. You're just gonna hurt yourself even more. If your ex tells you they miss you, that doesn't automatically mean that they're going to come back to you. Yes, I miss a few of my exes. I don't miss what we had. I miss being able to talk to them about everything. Jake, I loved you man. You were my bestfriend and so much more. I miss those late night, emotional talks we use to have where we just poured out everything in our hearts. I miss you being my best friend. I don't miss dating you. Derek, I miss you. I miss being able to call you a friend. I miss sitting in my living room playing guitar hero and you calling me names because I sucked. That was friendship. I miss your friendship. I'm happy in the relationship I am in. Jacob Stewart, I wasn't in a relationship with you, but I miss you. I miss talking to you about anything and everything. You knew me better than anyone else. Yeah, that crap screwed it up, but still. We were friends before and I miss that. Seriously, I'm not the freaking ignorant and oblivious little girl I was last year. I'm so different and no one has taken the time to see that. Let it go, Derek. I'm not coming back. All I want is your friendship. All I want is for you to be happy with friendship.

That four letter word.

Love is something everyone wants, but when they get it, they abuse it, and lose it. They're left alone to think, what did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? I'm here to tell you that love is just a word. You can sit there and say, "Oh I'm so in love with him/her!" I'm gonna tell you right now that until you prove it, you're lying in my eyes. Words are nothing. Anyone could sit there and tell someone, "I love you. You mean everything to me." It takes more than that. You have to show them you love them. I've been told I was loved and I was his everything and he could never love someone as much as they do me, but let me tell you, they never proved it. I believed it, too many times and got hurt. During my 7th and 8th grade year of school, I was heartbroken a total of 13 times. I got over it, because I knew that since they didn't prove it, and it was all talk, it didn't hurt as much. You see, I've learned something over the past few months. You control if you get hurt or not. Don't blame it on someone else. "Oh, he hurt me so much." No. You hurt yourself. You allowed yourself to be hurt. It's just like the other day. I learned that my bestfriend and her boyfriend had sex. (No, this does not count as telling anyone because no one knows who you are.) It got me upset and hurt me because of the fact that they simply were too young, and it would effect there life too much. I said somethings I didn't mean and somethings were said to me. It hurt, but only because I allowed it to hurt me. Everything I said was out of love. Pure love. You know how they say love hurts? Well, there's living proof. I love them so much, that I actually do care about what they do. It's none of my business? Well, then don't tell me. I shouldn't be concerned? Well, then don't be my friend. I don't understand how people can sit there and say, "Oh I love you so much!" I'll continue to say that's a bunch of bullcrap. Until you prove it. You may not agree with this, but it is my blog, and it is my feelings. Peace.